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Streetcorner Philosopher

Dear Marcus,

Don't let these haters get you down. Not that you will, of course- people as gifted as you rarely let a few negative comments drag you down.

And, being that you are truly God's gift to us all, I'm glad that you and your representative didn't even consider that your IMDB ranking had anything to do with your naked behind (one of the best behinds in the history of photography, as I'm sure you know) being all over the internet. For how erroneous would it be to assume that people were merely trying to match the ass with a name and, searching for said ass, read your IMDB bio!

I'm also truly gratified that you didn't let basic facts (like, say the recent ratings slide coming after your arrival) affect your strong sense of self worth. After all, why worry about the thousands who were turned off when there were tens- perhaps dozens- who you turned on. With your acting ability, of course (reminiscent of a young Brando? I think so!).

And, my strong Black brother, I am glad that you and your agent called Emmy-nominated actor James Reynolds out for being a token. That poor bastard probably thought he was helping present a consistent portrayal of African Americans in a positive, non-stereotypical light. And, I mean, it's not like the existence of his character allowed for the existence of yours!

After reading that comment, however, I most definitely will contact Corday the brilliant businessman in hopes of helping you get your job back. Oh my bad- you're already so far beyond the show (not that you weren't beyond it before) you probably weren't trolling the internet for help. I sincerely apologize. My mind is weak.

Finally, I too am appalled at those who callously label art "soft core porn," and at those who fail to see the brilliance in getting paid to work out in a way that you love. I too enjoy dancing. Perhaps you ought to consider marketing strip-dance as a way for people to have fun and lose weight. Not stripping as exercise as it currently exists; but with all the added cardio and weight training one gets dodging the hands of frisky customers and carrying cash in one's speedo.

So, Mr. Patrick- good luck and godspeed, not that you'll need luck with talent like yours. Unlike these other fools I have seen and embraced the warm light of goodness you radiate, and I will follow your career as you advance towards your true destiny.

Oh- I almost forgot: Thank you for rescuing that poor stupid helpless woman from pornography. If only more people could be like you and eradicate the wrongheaded notion that women are capable of forging their own career path. Though I am a might confused as to why she would need rescuing when her art is not so radically different from your own, I am sure that confusion stems from the fact that I am not as amazing as you are.

And one day, if I am lucky, I hope to find the kind of love that you and she have. The kind of love that involves rescue and calling one's lover out in a public forum as being a former whore in need of saving. The kind of love that would make someone demand gratitude in said public forum for rescuing that poor, lost, ho (um, ex-ho, thanks to you!). Oh...you two have such a bright blessed future!

Keep the faith (remember: Jesus was misunderstood, too!)!

Much love,


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Letter from Marcus Patrick · Y&R & B&B: News, Spoilers & Discussion