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Viewing Single Post From: Rachel Melvin blog entry 4/21


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Frame of mind, state of mind

There are three things I loathe about summer and it's warm weather: 1. bees 2. allergies, and 3. The central air that my new apartment lacks...

I assumed being from Arizona I'd be fine without the use of an air conditioning system, but it seems I've highly over rated my tolerance for heat. Of course in my defense, I forgot about a little thing people refer to as humidity. In Arizona we don't quite grasp the definition of water nor do we fully comprehend what it is, not to mention a product of it like humidity. Humidity? What is that anyway? Oh! That's the hot WET blanket I feel I'm being suffocated under! Oh well, at least it's finally warm enough to wear those shorts and tanks that have otherwise been acting as interior decor for my closet rather than fashionistic art for my body to display. I'm one of those people who would so much rather be hot than cold. My mother and I always used to love summers in Arizona because you'd go into a freezing cold restaraunt and the minute you stepped outside after dinner, you'd be instantly warm. It's the coolest feeling. Not to mention warm rain during monsoon season, or cruising with the convertible down without having to blast the heater at the same time. Things I find somewhat hard to enjoy in California. So I'm not going to complain about this horrendous heat wave holding hands with this moisture of death in the air they call humidity. Nope, I'm not complaining in the least! Oh but at least I'm no longer in the valley where it's easily five degrees warmer...

So I moved....AGAIN. But I'm hoping it'll be the last time for a while. I have a great apartment (minus the lack of air), in the center of everything in Los Angeles, and I'm enjoying the fact that I rarely have to get inside my vehicle to go anywhere-thus saving me roughly four hour trips to the grocery store, gas station, what have you, that it normally takes waiting in traffic. Not to mention the money I save in gas. It's glorious! I can walk to a post office, a market, a dry cleaners, a groomer for my dog, a bank, the park, an urban outfitters (heaven forbid)...I never have to drive again!

One of the reasons I'm so in love with New York City is that you can walk everywhere or take a cab or ride the subway. Basically, you're not confined to yourself in a car, closed off from the world and social interaction. In Los Angeles, we're in our cars so often, for such long periods of time, that it seems we almost lose a little bit of our social skills. I can't explain it, but if you're caught up in the hustle and bustle here, you totally know what I'm talking about...UNLESS you live in my new neighborhood. As mentioned, I can walk anywhere, therefore, so can my neighbors. You run into people ALL THE TIME! Just walking my dog the first night I met like three of my neighbors, and now I see them everywhere. At the market, the dog park, the post office. It's so incredibly easy to meet people, hold a conversation, and make friends. I feel like I've moved to a different continent, not just ten miles from my old place. It's amazing how much your life can change when you simply like where you live. As they say, location, location, location!

In addition to changing my residence, I have officially unofficially been done with Days for almost a month, though my official last day will be when I film an additional two episodes I was asked to stay for at the beginning of May. But I've still looked at my life as being unemployed and trying to adapt to the abnormality of a consistent repetitive schedule. I have an abundent amount of time on my hands, and while at first this made me uncomfortable, I've learned to value the leisurely time I have that could suddenly be taken from me with the next job. The entertainment business is so hurried and rushed, but also long and tedious. You have to learn to balance yourself so you don't get bored, or burnt out. So I'm sure you've been wondering what I've been up to. Well moving, for one. I've taken it upon myself to make this apartment the best I've ever lived in, so I'm taking on different projects around the house, decorating here and there, and getting ready to have an amazing house warming party once I've done so. I'm still taking dance classes, I've started voice lessons, and I'm embellishing in my painting again which has regretabley been forced to rest on the back burner for far too long. I'm spending more time with Murphy, and with the passing of pilot season, I'm using the down time within the industry to get new headshots, and begin writing again.

Things are going very well for me I'd have to say. After a few months of anxiously waiting to move, I've finally done so, and life couldn't be better. I guess what I've learned is that in life, you'll always have to wait for something. But without the waiting, we couldn't fully appreciate or enjoy all we obtain once we finally do. And to further prove this theory, there is one other little update in my life.

Remember when I complained about how hard it is to meet a person you could potentially like enough to date in Los Angeles? And how going to clubs is just an awful experience with unfavorable odds of producing the results you're hoping for? Well, you might recall that I also mentioned how every now and then some other person like yourself, who doesn't quite belong there or even desire to be, will be dragged against their will to go to a club anyway? Well, I guess if you keep putting yourself out there, you're only going to increase the odds of this happening. And it finally will.

I know I touch upon the struggles of life as well as it's complexity and illogicality, in order to connect to you all and relate to very relateable topics. But I also feel it's important to touch upon the positive ones when they occur, in order to instill hope in a society where I feel that hope is in constant jeopardy of dwindling.

This might sound bad, but I'm speaking from experience, and I believe experience should be shared because I want to make a difference. As cliche and silly as this could sound, a few months ago, in celebration of the movie, I read "He's just not that into you." Whenever I tell this to people they roll their eyes, but here's the thing: the message to walk away from that book with is not that "he's just not that into you," it's that you should be into yourself. I think that if more women had higher standards for guys that comes with greater respect for themselves and what they TRUELY deserve, guys would be forced to change the way they approach women and dating today, and we'd see a better breed of men...sorry guys, but a lot of the ones I've been running into lately kinda give you a bad name.

If you look back to the early days, like when my grandma was a teenager or young adult, she would always tell me that the guy was always chasing after the girl. Treating her like a princess, doing whatever it took to win her over. Girls were essentially a reward that men would jump hurdles, move mountains, and go great distances to earn and receive. Women didn't change in order for men to like them. They didn't let their insecurities show or waiver in what they believed they so rightfully deserved. They didn't call the guy or wait around for the guys to make a move. They had the mentality of the "He's just not that into you" book. They were ladies, and they deserved to be treated as one. And if the guy didn't want to fulfill the rightful duty of a man, well then a. you didn't deserve to be with her, and b. she'd find someone who did and who would

So, why should today be any different? It shouldn't. Girls have allowed that kind of chivalry to dissipate, I myself have been guilty of it, but I'm putting an end to it right now. How awesome would it be if more girls did the same? It would make dating so much more simplistic, enjoyable, and rewarding. Demand more respect for and from yourself, and wait for as long as it takes until you get it. Now, I know that's easier said than done, but as I mentioned, the waiting is what makes us smarter and more appreciative once we finally get what we've been looking for.

Sorry, I'll get off my pedalstool now. I just felt I owed it to the world to share this thought process, because after meeting a REALLY good guy, who reminds me of what dating SHOULD be and should have ALWAYS been, it makes me sick to think I ever settled for anything less. I wouldn't want you to waste precious time making the same mistake so many girls and women already so frequently do.

My point is: whatever it is, it's worth the wait. That being said, I hope this blog proved to be also, and I apologize for the delay.

Oh and I feel it necessary to mention briefly and officially, I do not, nor have I ever had or personally operated a myspace page. Regarding facebook, I have one personal page I reserve for close family and friends and hope you can be understanding to the fact that I limit it's use to only those individuals. It does not come up in any search per my privacy settings, therefore any and all other myspace or facebook pages claiming to be me are imposters. I apologize for any text that was harmful, mean spirited, or falsesly represented as myself. It has come to my attention that I needed to address this topic, and I hope that this clears up any misunderstanding.

Until next time!

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Rachel Melvin blog entry 4/21 · DAYS: News, Spoilers & Discussion