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Sam09
Jan 25 2010, 11:40 AM
Abused woman don't easily leave.....especially when a child might be left behind. It's hard enough for many women in a democracy to get out safely. In a country like Alamainia, where Bo made it clear that it is in a part of the world where , women have no rights, it's almost impossible. And that's true even in REAL LIFE. When folks say why did she just not do it, (even in real life cases) clearly people don't know what it takes to escape the physical and social power men have in many countries.

Carly is a woman who made a bad choice with Lawrence. Not unique, even on DAYS. Hope made a terrible choice with Larry Welch; with Patrick. Kayla made a terrible choice with Jack. Marlena made a terrible choice with Alex North, or Commissioner Gates. The only difference is that they were ONSCREEN so they were given a man to rescue them. Offscreen, no one gets help at all. Why didn't Marlena or Hope or Steve or Roman escape from Stefano all those years? They don't get trashed for not overcoming the power people who were abusing them. But Carly is at fault for not escaping Lawrence????

I see that as unfair and misogynistic. An abused woman is supposed to do it herself less she gets blamed. Unless of course it's a "supercouple female.." Then she has no responsibility and is always rescued by others.
THIS.

I have worked in the legal system for years, and for years I have seen women drop the charges against their abusers because they're afraid the abuser won't be convicted and things will be worse for them after the man gets out. Or they drop the charges because they mistakenly think the abuse comes from a place of love, or because they think they don't deserve any better because they've been abused since childhood, or because they think the abuser can change. Abuse of any kind is way more complicated than just condemning the abused party as being weak.

In the answers to her questions, though, CC makes it clear that she didn't stay because she loved Lawrence, or because she thought he could change, or that she thought he abused her because he loved her. She stayed to protect her child. The flashbacks we've seen have also made that clear. Lawrence took the child and gave her away. He threatened to harm the child if Carly ever left, so she stayed to protect the child. When Carly was first reintroduced, she had just found out that despite all the years she had stayed with him and kept up her end of the bargain, Lawrence had ordered that the child be killed anyway. There was a flashback for that, too. That's what launched this storyline.

Long-term abuse like that has lasting effects. I've seen it in my work and in my personal experience. Unfortunately, soaps don't generally deal with it in any sort of realistic way. Hope came back from the dead with no real effects (other than amnesia). The years of her kidnapping didn't really leave her traumatized. The same thing with Marlena, etc. This is the first time on Days (to my knowledge) that we've seen an attempt to deal with the effects of long-term trauma on a woman. We've seen attempts to deal with memory loss, but not what I would consider PTSD due to extreme long-term abuse.

If you watch Carly, she actually appears quite competent and capable in her job and in her dealings with everyone, except Vivian and Melanie. That's very normal for someone in her position. Vivian is the one her buried her alive and is going to be a tremendous trigger for her. Melanie is also going to be a trigger because she's the daughter she can't identify herself to. So she's not weak; she's just not as strong as she can ultimately be once she deals with her abuse.
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Crystal Chappell Days Q&A · DAYS: News, Spoilers & Discussion