HotPepper

Sep 17 2012, 06:46 PM

We lost a child many years ago. It almost tore our life and marriage apart. Mainly because my husband was like Nick and wouldn't talk about it. No, he did not run to another woman but it was like our son had never existed. I suffered thru that for many years because no one knows what real pain is until they lose a child. Your grief never ends but you have to learn to live the way your child would want you to live. You can always and will always mourn the loss of a child because I still after 22 years think of my son daily. I was able to move on but could have let it destroy me and my marriage so I looked at the situation and said this has to stop. We have to start going out again, doing things we used to do. That is what we finally did after our sons death but it took a few months to do that. My husband still will not talk about our son but does mention something about him every now and then. Just small remarks but if I say much about it he just clams up and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. i guess this is his way of mourning our child. Holding a lot inside but at least he does live life the way I thought we would live it and that was growing old happily together until we died. I have to respect his way of mourning because he excepted my way of mourning.
I think you control how you handle losing a child. You can let it ruin the rest of your life or face life without your child and move on and live the type of life your chilld would have wanted you to live. I wouldn't want my children to mourn for me forever and I doubt that my children would want me to mourn for them forever.