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IMO, there is a big difference between Sami "cheating" on EJ with Rafe in 2010 (although technically I don't know if it's really cheating if you don't do the deed) and when she cheated on Rafe with EJ in 2011. In 2010, she was not really committed to EJ. She was basically begging Rafe to give her a reason to say no to EJ's proposal. Not saying it was okay for her to throw herself at Rafe, but she and EJ were not even sleeping together. In 2011, Sami and Rafe were a committed married couple, from all appearances devoted to each other and Sami and EJ were barely speaking. That's why the grief sex came as such a shock. I think that really is the first time that Sami cheated while being in a real committed relationship.
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Spoilers for the week of May 13th · DAYS: News, Spoilers & Discussion