|Viewing Single Post From: Y&R: Prayers for Jeanne Cooper (Updated 5/4)|
|Daytime||May 3 2013, 09:53 AM|
Seems like I am the bearer for bad news lately... I am trying to leave my emotions out of it as I keep you guys updated. I keep wishing that she recovers but by this latest FaceBook post, it does not seem likely. But its not over until God says it over. Anyway, here's Corbin's latest update. |
Tested today. My faith, my strength, my very beliefs. End of life sucks. It's a terrible thing. I don't know many cases of "grandma went off peacefully in her sleep." Instead it seems more often it's a battle, a fight to go beyond our expiration date. And maybe there's the problem, one we create. Pushing the limits. I asked God many times today, why. Why would you give us this incredible life and end it so miserably? Okay, yes, there is more beyond this life, and I do believe that, but why end "this" one so in opposition to the beauty you have created? I"m praying for enlightenment on this. I think I understand it, but it's not clear.
Please know that I'm not saying my mother's life has ended, it hasn't, but no matter how you slice it, she is in the final stages, whether it lasts an hour, day, month or years. I had to say "goodbye" to her tonight "just in case" as I'm traveling tomorrow to Vancouver for Psych. I have prayed for her recovery - some sort of recovery - and earlier this week got a hint of it. But then I saw her tonight, connected once again to so many tubes and machines "healing her." And there is a difference - yes they are keeping her alive just as antibiotics would do for an infection - but they are more or less there to help in her short term recovery. Is she in a natural decent toward the end? Not sure. Is there a future? Not sure? And if so, what kind of future? Even less sure.
So I said my goodbyes tonight, had a good release of emotion and then left the room, more uncertain thanI have ever been about so many things. I wish I could be more positive for you tonight, but I reserve the right in this space to be plain, simple and honest. I know it's only in that realm that I will find the answers I'm looking for right now. I love you mom. I'm giving it up to you and God to find peace in this world or the next.
|Y&R: Prayers for Jeanne Cooper (Updated 5/4) · Y&R & B&B: News, Spoilers & Discussion|