esp13

Jan 23 2013, 05:11 PM

Pookie

Jan 23 2013, 04:27 PM

tomsawyer

Jan 23 2013, 04:10 PM

esp13

Jan 23 2013, 04:02 PM

Sigh. I think we're talking about two different things. I'm talking about what has actually happened and you're talking about where you think it's going. Thus far, onscreen, Nick has not been abusive. With the exception of the day he found out she was pregnant and thought it was Chad's, he has not yelled at her about anything. And he's NEVER made any kind of physical threat. And, quite frankly, when he did yell at her, it was far less nasty than they way Sami attacked her the other day.

Now, I understand why you think Nick is showing signs of becoming an abuser. I won't even disagree that those signs are there. I just don't think it's a forgone conclusion. And, part of that is because we have yet to see Gabi stand up for herself. She's the non-entity in her own story and, like Matt, I think that's a deliberate choice. I think she's happy to have Nick make all the decisions because she doesn't have to. And until she really stands up for something, we don't know how it will come out. At that point, depending on Nick's reaction, I think we'll have a better idea.

And, for the record, I'm not blaming the victim. I'm not ignoring warning signs or supporting an abuser. Nick's an ass and if my friend was dating him and I saw how he acted about some things, I'd tell her. But being an ass, even a controlling one, does not equal being physically and emotionally abusive, IMO.

Exactly. Could Nick become abusive? Yes. Has he been abusive so far? No.

If they take Nick down the abuser road, they would've laid the ground work effectively. And if they continue to ratchet up his controlling ways, I wouldn't be surprised if that's where they ultimately take him. But I don't think it's a foregone conclusion. So far, he looks like a controlling, bossy guy who has an insecure pushover of a girlfriend.

But this is how it happens for abuse victims. They tell themselves, yeah there are some problems but he hasn't got that bad YET. Then they do nothing and wait and see. Until when it finally does get really bad they're in so deep they don't know how to get themselves out of it. If red flags are shooting up left and right, it's not wise or healthy to ignore them. You need to deal with them head on before it spirals out of control.

I don't think anybody is disagreeing with this. I think I've said several times that Gabi needs to stand up for herself. And she does. She needs to recognize what's going on and part of what is going on is her passivity. All I'm saying is that I don't think it's reached the level of abusive at this point. It might be going there. It might not.

Honeybees

Jan 23 2013, 04:38 PM

Also, the show is completely inconsistent when showing abusive behaviors. That's why the EJ stuff is so alarming. He was awful to Nicole after she left him, and now he's charming and seems to truly care about Will and Sami. That I can't chalk up to intent by the writers but inconsistency. EJ is simply a different person under different writing regimes, or at least that's my explanation for it.

If I didn't know the history of EJ and Sami and started watching this show in say, December, I would be wondering what Sami ever saw in that neanderthal Rafe and rooting for her to jump into EJ's arms. Their chemistry and dynamic is really positive to me in their scenes, but writing that makes me wince because I know the history. And let's not even get started on EJ holding Rafe in cage.

tomsawyer

Jan 23 2013, 05:35 PM

Honeybees

Jan 23 2013, 04:38 PM

Also, the show is completely inconsistent when showing abusive behaviors. That's why the EJ stuff is so alarming. He was awful to Nicole after she left him, and now he's charming and seems to truly care about Will and Sami. That I can't chalk up to intent by the writers but inconsistency. EJ is simply a different person under different writing regimes, or at least that's my explanation for it.

If I didn't know the history of EJ and Sami and started watching this show in say, December, I would be wondering what Sami ever saw in that neanderthal Rafe and rooting for her to jump into EJ's arms. Their chemistry and dynamic is really positive to me in their scenes, but writing that makes me wince because I know the history. And let's not even get started on EJ holding Rafe in cage.

Even as an Ejami fan, I agree with this. It's surreal to see a guy who two years ago was unveiling Rafe 2 now be the guy who's doing everything he can to support Sami against Rafe's attacks. He's so different that we had to give him a new name - Everett. And I think you are absolutely right that changes in writing regimes have given us different versions of many characters, none more than EJ. Indeed, there have been so many versions of his character over the last 6.5 years that I can't even keep track (ask Socr for the count because she's named them all).

And ultimately, I'm not sure what to do about this. I could complain that EJ should be written like _____ (fill in your favorite version of EJ). I know I've done that a lot over the last three years on this board. But it seems our complaints about the inconsistency of characters, especially EJ, have fallen on deaf ears. Each writer writes him the way they want based on the story they've planned. So I've given up on expecting consistency or logical character development, and just trying to go with what's on my screen. And I must say, I'm wholeheartedly enjoying EJeverett circa 2013 and his chemistry with Sami.

SoapGal1

Jan 23 2013, 05:43 PM

I pretend the whole Rafe2 Taylor era never happened.

Seriously.

It was SO bad and so ridiculous it should be forgotten.

SoapGal1

Jan 23 2013, 05:36 PM

Okay, I'm going to have to call a big ole bull shit hear Rafe...

Sami attacked your dead sister, was trying to knock her over the head with a paperweight.

The difference???

You were so up Sami's ass you threw Arianna under the bus...literally & figuratively.

esp13

Jan 23 2013, 05:48 PM

SoapGal1

Jan 23 2013, 05:36 PM

Okay, I'm going to have to call a big ole bull shit hear Rafe...

Sami attacked your dead sister, was trying to knock her over the head with a paperweight.

The difference???

You were so up Sami's ass you threw Arianna under the bus...literally & figuratively.

Can somebody fill me in on just what Rafe knew about Arianna knowing about Sami? I mean, I know Rafe knew Sami shot EJ. And I know Arianna figured it out. But I simply have no memory of Rafe knowing that Arianna knew or vice versa even. And I have no memory of Rafe knowing that Sami attacked Arianna and/or that Arianna was fighting with Will and Sami right before she got ran over.

BTW, I'm not saying he didn't know all the details, I just don't remember it. Thanks.

Honeybees

Jan 23 2013, 05:52 PM

Oh, and something I loved was Maxine picking up the abuse/control dynamic between Nick and Gabi and refusing to answer Nick's questions. Go Maxine! Go HIPPA, too!

esp13

Jan 23 2013, 05:48 PM

SoapGal1

Jan 23 2013, 05:36 PM

Okay, I'm going to have to call a big ole bull shit hear Rafe...

Sami attacked your dead sister, was trying to knock her over the head with a paperweight.

The difference???

You were so up Sami's ass you threw Arianna under the bus...literally & figuratively.

Can somebody fill me in on just what Rafe knew about Arianna knowing about Sami? I mean, I know Rafe knew Sami shot EJ. And I know Arianna figured it out. But I simply have no memory of Rafe knowing that Arianna knew or vice versa even. And I have no memory of Rafe knowing that Sami attacked Arianna and/or that Arianna was fighting with Will and Sami right before she got ran over.

BTW, I'm not saying he didn't know all the details, I just don't remember it. Thanks.

SoapGal1

Jan 23 2013, 05:09 PM

Umm Rafe, I'm pretty sure Gabriella Donatella Hernanditella has made more than one honest mistake.